So hard

Dear Parker,

I love you infinitely.  That will never change.  But life with you is kind of hard right now.  You are super clingy.  You have always been a Mommy's girl, but lately it's been excessive.  I can't leave your side or you have a complete meltdown. It even extends to your cloths, blankets and toys.  You are very possessive and anything that is "mine" has to be with you at all times.   I feel terrible because every morning when I leave you at school, you scream your head off.  We had almost gotten to the point where you weren't even crying.  Going to bed is another nightmare.  Before we moved, you were going to sleep by yourself.  Ever since the move, I have had to lay next to you until you fall asleep.  There have been a couple nights this week where it has been tragic.  You wouldn't go to sleep and even if you did appear to be asleep, the second I leave, you start crying.  The problem now is that you are a bit beyond "crying it out."  You just scream and scream and scream (and scream and scream and scream.)  It kills me.  I've been so stressed and frustrated with life that I'm not handling any of these situations well and it makes me feel worse and even more stressed out.  Tonight, I finally sent your Mom in.  You screamed for her for awhile and finally went to sleep.  You weren't happy about it, but you are still sleeping.

I hope that you know that when I leave you at school or make you go to sleep that I still love you more than anything.

You are the light of my life.  I just want you to be a little more independent than you are right now.  Tomorrow is another day and I am looking forward to seeing your beautiful little face in the morning.

I love you,
Mommy