Ever since you were little, I have rocked you to sleep. I really like that time with you. I know that "everyone" says that I shouldn't do it. They say you will never go to sleep on your own, but I think it's so comforting for both of us for me to hold you as you fall asleep.
Lately, however, you haven't been staying asleep when I lay you down. You will sit up and begin crying. After about 45 minutes of trying to lay you down, I just can't take it anymore. It's no longer comforting to either of us and I know that you will sleep better and more comfortably in your bed. So, for the last two nights I have kissed you and laid you down. You have begun to scream. I still left. It rips my heart out.
Last night, you cried for about 3 minutes. Tonight it was about 1.5. I know that's not a long time, but I agonize over you falling asleep thinking that I don't love you. In my head, I know that isn't what is happening, but my heart hurts listening to you cry.
So, please know Parker Alyse, that Mommy loves you more than you will ever understand. Sometimes, mommies have to make hard decisions. I'm sorry. I hope this phase passes quickly.
I love you,
Mommy
No comments:
Post a Comment