Some awfulness

Friday, February 10^th, 2012

Dear Parker,

Today I am feeling like a terrible Mommy.  It all started last night.  We had pep band, so we were at University.  The games were running behind because of some overtime, so the Varsity game didn’t start until around 8:00, already 30 minutes past your bedtime.  We hemmed and hawed about when/if to send you home.  You started to get quite tired during the 2^nd quarter and by halftime you were toast, so we sent you home with Mom.  You were not leaving without a fight though.  You cried all the way out, reaching out to me with your scrunched up crying face begging for “one more hug.”  I hate that.  SO much.  It makes me feel like I am sending you away forever.  Apparently you screamed and cried almost the entire way home.  I called on my way home and you had calmed down, but were not yet asleep.  You were holding out until I got home.  So, I rushed in to see you and you fell asleep almost instantly.  But, that was still 10:00 at night.

You were so tired this morning and, of course, we were running late because I needed to get gas and it was trash day and I had to get extra things around for you and a myriad of other reasons.  Plus, tonight Mom and I had scheduled time with friends.  You are supposed to go with Nancy to the game and then we will meet you at home.  I’m feeling horrible about it. You had a terrible drop-off at school (more screaming and “one more hug”-ing)  I want to give you all the time you need with me, but I also need time out as a grown-up.  It’s terrible timing.   I didn’t know a week ago that it would be so terrible.  I just hope you know when I leave you at school (or anywhere) that I love you more than anything else in the entire world and that I will always, always, always come back.  I will spend every second with you this weekend.

You are the most amazing little girl in the entire world.  I love you so much.

Love,

Mommy