Mish-Mash

Monday, February 6^th

Dear Parker,

This is a mish mash post because there are some random things I want to get down before I forget them.  First (and then working backwards) is that I felt so terrible this morning.  You have always had tearful drop-offs.  But this morning was awful.  You started crying before we even left the house.  You were just so sad and kept asking to stay home with me.

Then when we got in the car you kept crying and asked to go back to your old school.  That about ripped my heart out.  I know that it was not the best place for you, and that you really don’t want to go back, but hearing you beg me for it did not do good things for me emotionally.  I am praying that you calmed down and had a good day.  We have ballet tonight for the first time.  I’m nervous that you are going to be really shy, but I’m hopeful that you will have a fabulous time.  You were so excited when we got the tap and ballet shoes this weekend.  (To tell the truth, I’m a little nervous because I don’t know what to expect and I want you to have a really fun time!)

(Here’s the mish-mash part).  Last night we went to a Super Bowl party at Baby Avery’s house.  You love her so much.  You really just love babies so much.  You wanted to hold her and play with her.  You also really loved playing with the 7 year old boy.  A little too much for my liking.  You do NOT need to be flirty at 3 years old, little girl.  I’m just laying down the line right here and now.  For the record.

Before we went to Baby Avery’s I was trying to update our photo albums and you wanted to look at the pictures of you when you were little.  We were all looking and Mom said, “OH!  You were so little!” To which you responded, “that’s how we grow, Mom.”  Ah, yes.

We went shopping Saturday (for your dance shoes) as well as to get some clothes for Mommy and Mom.  At your request, we went into your section.  You loved looking at the clothes.  You kept saying that we should get a baby so that we could buy some of them.  (If only it were that simple, love.  And, by the way, I’m sorry.)  You also loved pulling the off the rack, holding them up to my leg and saying “too small” then putting them back on the rack.

You have moments when you are so grown up and then there are moments when you are crying and your little face looks just like it did 3 years ago.  I’m sorry that you feel sad sometimes, baby.  I really wish I could take away all your sadness, but I think that is part of growing up and becoming a good person.  You have to feel sad sometimes and that will make the good times feel even better.  But, for the record, you don’t have to be sad about going to school. 

I love you so much, Parker.  Let’s have fun at ballet tonight, okay?

Love,

Mommy