the weekend

Dear Parker,

The weekend is over. We had a nice time and it was definitely good to spend time with you. I'm really not looking forward to this week because I know that it's going to be long and stressful for everyone. Good or not, we didn't really talk extensively about school this weekend because we didn't want you to get upset. You are also getting a little snotty, which I'm sure isn't going to help the situation any.

Uncle Stuart and Aunt Lauren came over today. You love them so much. Uncle Stu taught you how to play hide and seek. You thought it was hilarious. You didn't really understand the concept fully of either part of the game. When you were the seeker you would count to whatever number you felt like with your eyes open. Then you would go and look. You would check every hiding place that had been previously used, but always thought it was HILARIOUS whenever you finally found whoever you were looking for. You would then yell, "AGAIN!" When you were hiding, you always giggled to loudly to be hidden well. You really loved it though.

I think you may have actually jumped and gotten 2 feet off the ground today. We tried to get you to replicate it, but you wouldn't. You also have taken a liking to drawing with a purple pen and then showing us your creations. I think it's cool that you are proud of the things you are creating.

I'm going to miss you terribly tomorrow and it's going to be a long day since Mom has to work late and I can't get to you until about 5:00. I hope you do ok. I have a feeling that you are going to cry again and that's going to rip my heart out, but I'm trusting that you know we love you.

Sleep well tonight, baby girl. You need your rest.

I love you,

Mommy

Finally Friday

Dear Parker,

Well, I guess you could say that today was better. Your teachers said that you didn't really cry after the morning drop off, which is good. You did cry as soon as we walked in the door though. I'm not sure if it was relief or what.

I feel bad about leaving you all day. I miss you so much when you aren't home. I'm not looking forward to the start of school, but at least I will be busy during the day.

Anyway, at least it's the weekend and we can spend 2 days together.

Here's hoping we don't go back to square 1 on Monday.

I love you and I'm sorry that you have to go to daycare. It's not what I want for you, but I think parts of it will be good for you.

I love you,

Mommy

Day 3

Dear Parker,

Well, today was your third day at school. It was your first sort of full day. I was REALLY worried because you basically cried all morning and were absolutely screaming by the time we left. I was trying so hard to hold it together for you, but I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be. Luckily, you stopped crying quickly and then had a pretty good day. Tracey said that you were sad sometimes, but that you did pretty well. You ate all your lunch and even napped for 50 minutes, which I didn't think you do on the first day.

After school we had promised that we could go to the park, but you wanted to go home first to have a snack. So, we came home and then went to the park. After the park we went to dinner, thinking that we could go from there to the Ice Cream Social Back to School Night thing at your school. But, after dinner you were SO tired and said you didn't want to go, so we figured that we weren't going to push it.

All of your teachers think you are so smart. That is all they every talk about. Sometimes, it even bothers me because I don't want to hear how smart you are (I already KNOW that!) I want to know how your day went and if you made any friends and if you were well behaved. But, I suppose I don't mind hearing how wonderful you are!

I'm so proud of you for having a good day at school. I have a feeling that you will cry again tomorrow, but I hope that you end up having a good day. Next week is going to be hard on all of us, so I am very much looking forward to the weekend.

You are so amazing. Thank you for being SO strong for us.

We love you,

Mommy

Really Hard

Dear Parker,

This is proving to be harder than any of us thought. You had a pretty rough day at school and it just continued when we got home. It started when I asked if you were going to go tomorrow to play with Miss Tammy. You said, "I don't like Miss Tammy." Then for the rest of the night, whenever we would mention school, you would just start to cry. You were okay for awhile and then it was time for a bed. You had a breakdown. You just kept crying, "I don't want to go to school!" We finally got you settled down, but you kept crying out about not wanting to go to school. Finally, I just rocked you to help you calm down and sleep since I knew there was no way you would have a good day if you were tired.

I feel horrible. There is nothing worse than having you beg me to not have to do something like this and having to make you go anyway. I am praying so hard that you adjust soon. Tomorrow you have to go for a full day and I think it's going to kill you. It's so hard to see you so sad all the time. You actually said earlier that you didn't like school because, "It makes me sad."

Rips my heart out.

I love you more than anything,

Love,

Mommy

School Part 2

Dear Parker,

You have had a busy last 24 hours and a rough last 12 or so. Yesterday was your first day of school that went relatively well. Then, your Uncle Stuart and Aunt Lauren came over after your nap and the your big kid friends, Maggie and Maggie, came over for dinner. You loved playing with everyone. You are such ham now. It's hilarious. At one point you were performing "Twinkle Twinkle" with the cd and Maggie started laughing (because you are so cute!) and you just stopped, looked and her and said, "Stop it, Maggie! Stop it!" Then, of course, we all laughed harder!

Anyway, when it was time to go to bed, you made it through the bath and the initial bed process just fine, but then you couldn't fall asleep. You just laid there with your eyes open, blankly staring. After about an hour of failed attempts on my part, I just brought you downstairs and we watched about 15 minutes of "Between the Lions." Then, we went up to try again. You fell asleep quickly. I'm not sure what was keeping you up, other than maybe too much excitement.

This morning, you didn't really want to go back to school. We psyched it and you up enough that you were excited by the time we left, but when we went to leave, you just started screaming. I felt like you were just ripping my heart out, baby girl. I know that you are fine, that it will be fine, that eventually you will like school, that it's normal, that you need to play with other kids, blah blah blah. But, none of that really makes me feel any better. I just hope that you feel loved and really, truly understand that we will be back in just a few hours.

I love you, Parker Alyse. I will see you in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

Love,

Mommy

School

Dear Parker,

Today was your first day of "school." I was very nervous and sad. You were very excited to go and didn't cry when we left. You were only there for a half day today, which I think was a good start. Miss Doreen said that you cried occasionally and would sit in a chair to "wait for Mommy." I think you had fun sometimes, but I feel so incredibly guilty and sad that you are going to have to spend so many hours a day away from home and people who love you. It makes me sad.

Please know that I love you more than you understand and that I am doing the best I can for you.

You are the most amazing, beautiful, smart, funny, loving little girl. We are the luckiest parents in the world.

I hope you have a good day tomorrow.

Love you forever.

Mommy

Catching Up

Dear Parker,

It's been way too long since I have written you. After we left Uncle Steven's we took a couple of days just as a family and visited Frankenmuth, MI. You had a good time walking through the little Bavarian town. We were there before the shops opened so you had run of the town. A few minutes before they opened, the piped in music began. You started dancing right there in the street. It was pretty funny. We also swam in the pool every night, which you loved. Your constant giggles while we were swimming are still in my head.

We left Frankenmuth and headed to Leland, MI to visit Nancy and Chuck. We went there last year as a family and you were fairly cautious when it came to the water. So, the first thing we did after we settled in was to head to the beach. As soon as we started laying out the blankets, you pointed to the water and said, "Parker maybe do that?" So, off we went. You walked straight into the water and didn't look back. The waves were big and you loved getting splashed and jumping the waves. Back on the beach, you spent a really long time filling a huge bucket to the top with sand. Other variations over the next few days included a bucket or rocks and layering the sand with rocks.

You had a great time walking through Leland, playing at the park and having Teddy Bear pancakes with Nancy.

Now, we are home and spending our last few days together before you start "school" on Tuesday. You are acting excited about school, well mostly about the animal crackers and juice, I just hope that you remain that excited when the time comes.

Your Mom and I think you are the single most amazing thing ever. You get cuter and smarter every single day. You have started using "me" correctly. (As in "carry me.") You also are suddenly very excited about your birthday. We have mentioned that it is coming up, but you talk about it all the time. This afternoon, before you nap, you said, "My birthday is coming up. I blow out the candles and eat the cake. Put it in my mouth, chew it and then have more!" It will be so fun. I can't wait.

I know I have missed many things since it has been so long, but we have been busy.

I love you so much.

Love,

Mommy