Sad

Dear Parker,
We have been struggling with getting you to bed since we moved to this house.  Before we moved, we would snuggle for 10 minutes and then you would go to bed.  Then we moved and everything went out the window.  First, you would only sleep on the floor.  Then you wanted to sleep in our bed.  Then you would sleep in your own bed, but needed someone to stay in the room with you until you fell asleep.  This is where we are stuck.  Sometimes, it's fine.  You fall asleep within 10 minutes.  Sometimes it is fine because you let me leave and you just put yourself to sleep.  Sometimes it is NOT fine because you are afraid of various things - monsters, tigers, witches and get very afraid when we leave the room.  Sometimes it is NOT fine because you just want to cuddle with me, but you can't fall asleep.  That was tonight.  It's so frustrating for me to lay in bed with you for over an hour while you just stare.  I feel like I put off doing all the things I have to do so that I can play with you after school.  Then, you take away all the time I should have after you go to bed as well.  I know that I shouldn't get frustrated with you, but I do.  I'm working on it.  But then,  you will say things like, "Mommy, you make me sad when you yell at me."  This kills me mostly because I am NOT yelling at you.  I am just not being super polite and saying 'please' and 'thank you' when I've politely asked you to do the right thing a million times.  But then I'm conflicted because you look genuinely sad and I don't want to make you sad - ever.

I dunno.  I just want you to know that I love you.  I'm trying to be better and I never want to make you sad.

I love you.  More than you will ever know.  I'm excited for your birthday!
Love
Mommy